Meeting New People

The bereaved cite loneliness as one of the greatest burdens to bear following the death of a partner or loved one. This is particularly hard if you were a close couple without the need for a wide circle of friends.

You may find that your friends are all in couples and you are the 'odd one out'. You may also have lost contact with friends as you cared for a terminally ill person and coped with your grief alone.

Whether you are seeking to renew or build friendships or feel ready to explore a new relationship, bringing new people into your life can give you a much needed boost. Here is some advice from people who have experienced bereavement:

  • Don’t feel guilty about wanting to move on. New relationships aren’t about forgetting or replacing but are about finding and re-establishing a new life without the person you have lost.
  • After bereavement you may lack confidence. If you have been 'out of the loop' for a while then expect to feel nervous about making new friendships. Remember most people welcome the opportunity to meet new people and are often looking for new friendships themselves. Don’t be afraid to take a risk and open up a little.
  • You will never make friends sitting alone at home, although you can find online friends through the power of the internet. Cosider joining clubs that interest you or getting a job if you don’t have one.
  • Like yourself. Be positive about your attributes and don’t focus on your faults. Other people are drawn to positive people.
  • Don’t expect to meet your best friend or a new partner immediately. Although you may be lonely, you aren’t desperate. If you don’t like the people you meet then don’t see them again!
  • If dating is what you want then have a look at Newton Mearns Dating.
  • Don’t go too fast. Grieving can take years and taking on too much too soon can be emotionally draining.
  • Remember to enjoy your own company, friends and relationships can fulfil certain needs in your life but rediscover a sense of what you like and need as a single person. Start reading again, going to the cinema or just sitting and enjoying the view.