Relationship Review

Relationship Review

Carrying out a Relationship Review allows you to analyse the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship on a non emotional level and assess the future potential and concerns. It is important that you are as honest as you can be during this process.

Strengths and weaknesses can refer to your own personal strengths and weaknesses or the strengths and weaknesses within your relationship. One of your strengths might be that you are a good listener. A weakness could be that you always have to win arguments. Potential is about the opportunities available to you to strengthen your relationship. For example, an opportunity could be that you are having a two week holiday together which will give you much needed personal time together. A concern is a threat which could harm your relationship, for example, an existing medical condition that could develop into illness. So how do you carry out a Review?

  • Take a piece of A4 paper and divide into 4 parts or use our template. Write one of the four headings (Strengths, Weaknesses, Potential and Concerns) in each box.
  • Work through each box thinking about how they apply to you. In strengths - do you have good communication in your relationship? Do you have a good sex life? Do you spend time together doing things as a couple? Do you have a similar financial outlook?
  • When thinking about weaknesses, consider - do you argue a lot? Do you flirt with other people? Do you still take care over your appearance?
  • When looking at potential think about - time you are due to spend together alone? Retirement, how you will spend that time together? Could you spend more time together as a family? Could you develop a hobby together? Do you have common interests?
  • Assess your concerns - Have you been unfaithful? Has your or your partner's appearance or behaviour recently and radically changed? Do you have different views when it comes to commitment, sex or children? Are there any threats of job loss? Do you have medical problems that could develop?

After you have carried out the Review, the final stage is to make a plan and decide what changes you need to make. Can you resolve any problems so that you can carry on together or should you decide to leave the relationship? The plan should give you an opportunity to celebrate the good things, to work on relationship and personal weaknesses and to do your best to neutralise impending concerns. This proactive approach to your relationship helps you to keep more in control of your life. You may wish to use our action plan template and to try to improve specific relationship handling skills. Depending on individual issues within your relationship you can find further help in the next sections.