Building New Relationships

Dating Again

You are ready to move on to a new phase of your life and have started dating people. Many people find this a bit of a rocky ride and struggle to find the love and companionship they crave. Meeting people can be a struggle so try an online dating website. Newton Mearns Dating has thousands of people looking for romance and friendship - registration is free.

'On the re-bound' is a common expression to describe new relationships after the breakdown of a significant and long term relationship. Many of these tend to flounder because one partner is not ready to move on. These new relationships commonly fall apart because of jealously and loneliness, which are normal emotions after a break-up. You should ideally give yourself time to get over past relationships before you get into another involved relationship.

After leaving a relationship, there may be a gap in our lives that can be hard to fill. The temptation is to jump right into another relationship to fill the gap that was left by the ex-partner. You feel at ease with the fact you have someone to go the pub or movies with and it seems easier than doing it as a single person, especially if all your friends are in couples. Unfortunately, these are superficial reasons and not necessarily a basis on which to found a great and solid relationship.

Jealously also often prompts us to jump into unsuitable relationships. We see our ex or friends in a relationship and want to prove we have moved on and can do the same thing.

If your feelings for another person aren't based on attraction, love and mutual interests then the relationship is likely to be temporary. It reflects a lack of respect for yourself and the person you are choosing to be with; you don't respect yourself well enough to wait for the right person and you don't respect the other person enough to be honest with them.

Many people who repeatedly fall into relationships of convenience notice a pattern of relief at being in a relationship, boredom and then break-up. In the long term this can lead to feelings of repeated failure and lowering of confidence.

Once you have been involved in a partnership you inevitably come to your next relationship with baggage and it is likely it will have an effect on your new relationship. People often worry about issues such as previous sexual experience and disclosing that to your new partner. It may be worth considering your response to any questions and how much information you wish to reveal about your previous relationship in advance. There are no right or wrong answers, but if you are unsure whether or how much to tell your partner then you can find advice and support from others in our forum.

Some people manage to maintain long lasting relationships. Others have a succession of shorter relationships which regularly breakdown. If you seem to have difficulty sustaining a relationship it may be worth considering whether there is a type of partner you are choosing and whether there are repeating patterns in the breakdown.

Do you repeatedly get into relationships with similar people? Have you ever considered why you were attracted to your ex? Do you find yourself attracted to 'bad boys' or flirtatious women? The things that drew you to them in the first place could have been contributory reasons for your break-up. Take a step back and try to analyse why you fall for the same personality type before dating again.

To start dating other types of people does not always come naturally but can lead to fulfilling relationships if we only give them a chance. So how do you start attracting the people you want in your life?

Check out our dating site Newton Mearns Dating. Registration is free and you will be able to find thousands of like minded people who are looking for friendship and romance

Know what you want and what you need. Set your standards beforehand, using our chart. It is possible to fall into the trap of dating the same type unintentionally, so if you have your ideals in mind beforehand you can politely decline offers which will not work for you.